Thursday 10 December 2009

The Hansom Carriage

“What did you think about carrying Lady Godiva up Whitehall?”

“Well, apart from the fact that you are a bit old to reveal everything, it's just as well you took me.”

“Why?” enquired Lady Godiva?

“Well, I am so hansom everyone was looking at me.”

Friday 22 May 2009

Falling Off

“You threw me!” Said the rider

“No I didn’t.” said the horse. “You fell off.”

“I didn’t fall off.” Said the rider.

“Yes you did.” Said the horse.

“If I had thrown you, you would have landed miles away.”

Saturday 9 May 2009

Mathematics

“I’ve got my maths GCSE.” Said the rider.

“I can do maths.” Said the horse.

“Don’t be silly, I bet you can’t even count.” Said the rider.

“Of course I can.” Said the horse.

“OK, what is 1 plus 1?” said the rider.

“11 of course.” Said the horse.

Saturday 2 May 2009

View Point

A tractor pulling a set of harrows passed the horse and rider on the downs.

“Blue.” The horse said. “Nice colour.”

“Red tractor?” said the rider.

“Oh no.” said the horse. “I was looking at the harrows. Everyone has a different point of view.”

Tuesday 20 January 2009

Hugs

“Why did you head butt me? Said the rider.

“Well I can’t hug you.” Said the horse. “So I use my nose to say hello.”

“But you are bigger and stronger than me and you send me flying.”

“I’m sorry.” Said the horse, “I’ll try and be more gentle next time I want to hug you.”

Boring

“I thought we were going for a gallop today?” Said the horse.

“Well we aren’t we are just going to walk.” Said the rider.

“Boring.” Said the horse.

“Yeah, sometimes we have to be boring.” Said the rider.

“That is so human.” Said the horse.